"No!” I thanked her.
"Me, accustomed to luxury, sleeping among those savage Mongolians! caked with lice!. When I complained a bit!.. immediately insults!.. blows!.. atrocities!.. He’d throw his fit. the Temple! the Temple! his bugbear!. The Rajah! he couldn’t shake it off! He’d go erazy again!.. To go back to Delhi we borrowed money, twelve piasters, from, now hold tight, the Catholic Mission!.. That shows you how we stood!
.. Fine!.. He thinks up something else!.. A new idea!.. ‘Pep£! Pepe! I see what’s lacking!’. It lights him up!.. ’We’ll never succeed!’.. ‘What’s lacking?’ I ask…'An ancestor!’. I didn’t see why an ancestor?.. why that idea?.. he’d got it into his head going from convent to convent talking with the monks.. talking Baluchi with them, the language they speak there. 'This is going to be something!’ I said to myself.. ah! it was something! we had an ancestor!.. we went back to France to get him!.. we trotted him around. we brought him back.. again! then here! back there! everywhere!. he’s here now! They removed him from his vault.. it was very expensive! very very expensive!”
She pointed to the end of the garret.. next to the wardrobe… just under the roof… the ancestor’s wicker chest… a long flat one..
Sosthene was the one who interested me.
"Will he be leaving again soon?”
I was fishing.
"Where’s the money coming from, darling? Luckily we don’t have any left! ”
Ah! that was a relief! a comfort! for her! they’d be forced to stay in London! She couldn’t see herself back in Tibet!
"Kiss me!.. Kiss me!.. Ah! You’re not ready to leave either! Go on! You’re not ready!.. Look, here it is!.. Here it is, do you feel it?”
I had to give her another taste of it!. on the neck, the torture spot where there was still a scar… a circle all around..
I was waiting but he hadn’t come back.
I wondered what the hell he was doing outside, that Chinese guy.. What if he stayed out a week? a month?.. would I have to sleep there? She kept trying to get a rise out of me..
"You see, darling, I’m putting some powder on for you!.. There! it’s on!. But I can do without it, you know!. Touch my skin… Feel how soft it is… He used to want me to powder myself!.. white!.. white!.. always paler!.. He preferred me that way!.. ‘Pepe, my little dead darling! ’ he called me.. since the day I almost stayed there because of the saw!.. If you had seen that act!.. I’m still pretty, you see! But in Melbourne!. if you had seen!. I’d never been so lovely!.. All the Brahmans in the act, even though they were used to me, couldn’t believe their eyes!.. It was they who unnailed the cover.. I was supposedly dead!.. I appeared in a flood of roses!.. What applause!.. it lasted twenty minutes… Once three-quarters of an hour in Sydney!.. all the people were standing and shouting, I looked so magnificent!.. Tell me! Do I kiss well?.. Wouldn’t you like to take me in the flowers?.. You see that trunk?.. under the transom.. it’s still full of roses!.. artificial ones.. but they’re perfect! You’ve never seen anything like them!. so lovely!.. you’ll take me in them!.. Wait’ll you see!.. They come from Bongsor Malaya.. You can’t imagine what they can do with petals.. bits of velvet! real flowers dried in the monsoons!.. I’ll show you!”
She leaves me. she hops over.. she plunges into the trunk!
.. she sends all the roses flying!.. a cloud of petals! they scatter all over! all around!. another armful and another!.. a rain of petals… in a big cloud of dust!.. Both of us sneeze.. what laughing! Ah! we’re having a great time!..
Ding! Ding!. someone’s knocking! banging at the door..
She readjusts her petticoat… she runs in her slippers.. It’s a chubby little boy with a bottle of milk..
"Thank you!.. Thank you!”
And a big kiss for the little boy!.. Another one! another big kiss! dear little chappy!.. and she makes a grab for the little devil! he’s wheedled, pawed, licked, smothered in the twinkling of an eye! caresses! right on the doormat! just standing there!.. the baby errand-boy!.. Ah! the little rascal!.. He squirms and clucks just like her!.. It’s probably not the first time!.. He’s probably delighted to bring up the lady’s milk!.. No one’s worrying about me!.. I’m left in the lurch, sitting there on the bed.. All the same I think it’s a bit thick!.. Suppose someone comes up?… I don’t think she’s in her right mind!.. The old hag’s on fire!.. That’ll cause another row!.. what a mess if someone comes up!.. I’d better shut the door.. As if, damn it, I’m not in enough trouble!
.. Now another jam!.. with cops all around! this time a sex-maniac! Ah! nothing doing! I get up! no! down again! hell! I can’t move! my legs are like lead!.. let ’em play! fedup! good-by! I’m too dazed by the sidewalks.. I’ve done too much walking since last night.. I’m pooped!.. she’s getting livelier! It’s her nerves! A case of nerves! She’s all steamed up, fiddling around with the kid!. Kitchy-kitchy! Maybe that’s my fault, too! Everything’s my fault these days!. I’m going to kick ’em out! both of ’em! They’re making me boil! down the stairs!.. I’ll let ’em have it! head first!.. I’ll make ’em cluck! Just wait!
I stand up! I start going! just then a yelling. from downstairs.
"You bitch! you bitch!” from the street.. "Get inside, hide yourself, you filthy slut! ”… from all the way downstairs.. from the corridor.
I don’t know what the hell to do with myself!
"Will you let that child alone!”
The kid makes a dash!.. Boom! his hobnailed boots! He’s running!. She spins around! throws herself on me! into my arms!.. sobbing in wild fright!.. Sosthene’s standing in the doorway.. on the mat.. He’s looking at us..
"Listen!.. Listen!..” I begin..
He breaks in on me.
"I understand!”
He moves forward… he’s offended! He refuses to shake hands. Then he breaks down, trembles, plops on the edge of the bed.. he’s all in.. he’s grunting.. choking.. spitting.
"Oh! Id Id!" he mumbles. ."Oh! Id Id!"
He’s still wearing a Chinese robe but not the same flowered one.. this one’s yellow and red.. with ibises all over… He doesn’t take off his big hat.. he just sits there dreamily.. "Oh! Id la!" he mumbles… "Oh! Id la!" And then he gets sore again… he stands up in a fury… he goes for the bitch! Boy, oh boy! he shakes his umbrella over the slut’s head! she throws herself at his feet.. she writhes.. she crawls…
"Pepe! Get up!.. I’m ashamed of you!”
"I know, my beloved!.. I know!”
She kisses his robe, his shoes.. she’s overwhelmed.. convulsing with remorse!
"My darling!.. my darling!. my life!”
That’s what she calls him.
"Stand up!. Stand up!. you wretch!”
"Yes, I am a wretch! Oh! Yes! I’m damned!” she answers. "That’s what I am!” Shaky! sobbing..
It’s agonizing. it’s horrible..
"Go on, turn around!.. beg my pardon!”
She obeys.
She bends down on the other side..
He tucks up her rags.
"Look at that behind! that abomination, young man!”
He calls me to witness.. The kid’s come back, too.
She seesaws.. she undulates her fanny.. she wiggles her can..
"Oh! what an ugly ass!.. Isn’t it ugly, Monsieur?”
He’s saying it to me.
And whack! and whack!.. with his umbrella!.. and bang! a big kick in the rear end!. She goes bouncing into the roses!
… She’s still bawling, but not so loud, just little sobs now..
He rushes off, runs, rummages around on the other side.. behind the partition.. the faucet… he turns it on..
"Coming!.. Coming!” he yells.. And he’s back again!.. full of pep! He
